Welcome ... I know this is a really hard time for you and the questions your posing are good ones. I think your posting in the right place because the real question should be what are you going to do for yourself during this process.
In answer to your questions, yes I have seen many people go through treatment and become sucessful in their recovery.... I have not however seen anyone go back to being the person they were before recovery... and Im not sure that is even possible. My husband is an alcoholic with almost 5 years in recovery, he has not lasped and is a completely different person today then he was, BUT.... he works his program every single day.
Just like my husband works his program every single day I also have to be working mine or our relationship probably would not work. Have you considered attending Al-anon? Living with or being in a relationship with an Alcoholic is not easy regardless of if they are drinking or not. It take a different type of grow and strength then other type of relationships. I had to do alot of soul searching and working on myself to figure out what my issues were... after all I would not say its normal to "choose" a long term relationship with an Alcoholic... there are reasons why I was attracted to someone with addiction issues...
When the others talk about taking care of yourself and working your own program... you need to know that it is vital when you choose to be in this type of relationship and there is no better place to start then Alanon. You have no control over his recovery and there is a chance even after many years of soberity that he could relasp.... however you do have control over your choices and the boundries you will need to learn to set. Trust me there is no better way to learn about this disease and your personal growth then to start working a program yourself.
I look forward to getting to know you better, stick around and keep posting. We have all been through it to one degree or another.