I was very similar in my drinking patterns as you, also in my recovery I experienced a lot of the same mood swings and emotional 'all over the place'-ness you're going through. I used alcohol as a way to celebrate, medicate, ease boredom, get to sleep (you name it),and never learned other ways to cope with life, good or bad. That's when I found myself a bit lost.. I didn't know HOW to still celebrate, cope, get to sleep (etc), and that's where a good addictions counselor was absolutely KEY to my recovery, I had to learn how to live sober, instead of just trying to survive abstinent from alcohol. I couldn't do that part on my own, that's for sure.