Honoryourself, I also have had guilt and repercussions over telling my friends and family what was going on. I lost a lot of friends who felt that if I was going to stay, how could they help? They did become frustrated. Some of them feel abandoned, and imagine how weird it must be for them to know how he has treated me, and then I take him back and expect them to be supportive of my plans with him.
These are all common stories with alcoholics. I have isolated myself to a scary point. I was a musician, in a famous band. I was a woman who had several circles of friends. I am also now 40 years old. I spent the better part of the last 5 years plugging his holes, and mothering his child alone. It is hard enough to maintain outside friendships when you become a parent.
I am now beginning to reach out to my older friends. I am no longer concerned with how my A feels about that. He can talk smack about whoever he wants. It just looks so pathetic. He is just threatened. He is so scared. He has tons of bar "friends", but he does not have people who would drop everything for him, go to the hospital with him,All of his friendships occur in the bar. There is no other common thread for him.
I used to think he could become part of my life, and love my friends too. They are beautiful loving people... He is just too foul. Too miserable.