(((C2P)))
I too changed over the years to someone I don't recognise - I was with STBXAH for 18 years. I am also on anti depressants, put on a huge amount of weight, lost all my friends etc etc. If your doctor wants to give you more/different anti depressants, then let them! It can take a while to find the right meds that work for you.
I found that once I was given the right type of antidepressant, they helped lift me from the pit of despair and allowed me to get some energy and motivation back into my life so I could work on me. Some days, just getting out of bed in the morning was an achievement! Medication is only part of the solution though. I got one on one counselling which has helped me enormously. I'm still on anti depressants but I've got my own place now, I'm slowly making friends and reconnecting with old friends - I've even enrolled in a weekly night class! I discovered that only I can change me and only I can find happiness for me. I can't look to other people for this, its something I had to do on my own. I find joy in being on my own as well as joy in my friends.
It took me many years to recognise that I needed to do something about me. It hasn't taken you nearly so long! You can do this. Once you manage to get out from under the heavy blanket of depression, you can get the motivation to go back to the gym, to do things just for you and to rediscover your self respect, self esteem and self trust. I still struggle with these today but I'm so much better than I was a year ago and miles better than 2 years ago! You can do this. You won't be depressed forever. You can learn from your experience and go on to become a wiser but much happier person. If I can do it anyone can!
:ghug3