Welcome to SR Cucumber!
The dance of alcoholism always takes victims, and you are not alone. When we, as partners and spouses reach the end of our rope and discover that our lives are unmanageable as they are, we can start to change.
Al-Anon is another great place to meet other people who are where you are, who have been where you are, and who are getting better. Melody Beattie's book, "Codependent No More" is also a great place to start.
In the meantime, check out the stickied posts at the top of the forum, keep reading and keep posting. We are here and we care about you.