Japic05
Thank you for the hug, needed that!
I want first to clarify that my husband is not in "active" addiction, he has been clean for 15 months. While this is great and I am proud of him, this has by no means solved all our problems.
I think my emotions and finances and intertwined with each other though. I am angry at him for the financial situation we are in. He is the one that lost 2 great jobs (and the income that went with them), and spent 1000's of dollars on his Drug! I am the one that works the budget, writes the checks to pay bills and deals with the finances. I hate doing it and wish I could not have to deal with it at all. I always feel like he doesn't have to worry about it or deal with it because he doesn't have to look at it or take care of it.
How can I work on rebuilding if I already have leaving in mind? Well, I am just not to a point yet that I am sure this marriage is going to be saved. I would like for it to be and that is my hope, but reality may not be the same thing. I have thought about divorce not because I really [I]want[I] one, but because that just may be the reality of my marriage, I just don't know right now.
The health insurance tax thing, is what has me thinking divorce (on paper only) for financial reasons at this point. I would still stay with my husband, and just live together. Losing the tax deduction for my health insurance premium will be costly for me, and may prevent me from being able to continue to afford my health insurance.
I though of it as an opening for a "friendly" divorce and would be able to get the house and property i want, and then IF things don't work out ultimately, the divorce would already be done and property settled. I don't know?
OTL & SB - Yes, we can decline the insurance, and I am going to decline. My existing coverage is much better than what they are offering and as I said, don't need coverage for him. Even if I decline their insurance, they are still "offering" it, so because of this it makes the premium I pay for my private insurance no longer tax deductible, therefore "costing" me more in the long run for my health insurance.
Just talked to a friend that works at a CPA firm, and she said that losing the deduction for my insurance premium would result in about $400 in taxes due on that income. So I guess bottom line I can look at it as my health insurance just went up $400 a year.