Good post wakeup.
ps. That avatar of yours kinda cracks me up as it looks at first glance like someone doing a line.
Yes I hear ya on the controlled drinking thing. Any thought I have of it, which TBH I don't as i ain't never drank with any control, is totally deluded as how am I gonna have any rational thought about not drinking more booze once the buzz has hit? I ain't gonna stop for no-one. I know that.
I always used to count my drinks interms of a "sesh". 9 500ml cans of 5% lager was my staple and enough to get me passed out though i was usually pretty agitated and restless when on can 8 and would go to get more to finish the job if the shop was open.
I was and will always be a drink untill passout drinker. I have no control over booze and that is why it is such a dangerous drug for me.