Hmm LaTeeDa, I think you've put your finger on it: things may "appear" normal when I talk to XAH, or when I see him briefly for a visit--which has confused me a great deal in the past few days, but inherently, he is unstable and untrustworthy. If I granted him the opportunity to be a regular part of my daughter's life (at this time at least), I'd always be waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. I'd wonder if when I picked her up she'd eaten properly, if she'd been changed or bathed, or what profanities and yelling she'd heard/been subjected to, or worse *who* she'd been left with while he "went out with friends".
Damn. I hate being the bad guy. I'm going to have to suck it up and be the initiator in a BIG way and I'm scared of doing it.
Perhaps he can "work towards" shared custody if he proves himself...how he'd do that, I don't know.
In addition, I know that his monstruously large ego and overinflated sense of self will fight with everything it's worth to dodge the label of "inadequate and untrustworthy father", so it might be a while before he even talks to me civilly.
yay for war.