I spoke with my lawyer yesterday afternoon (finally!), and got a good idea of what's going to happen once I sign the proceedings. I'm still undecided as to what to do. Do I:
a) Wait for november 19 and our first mediation session before deciding to go ahead and serving XAH with divorce and custody papers? This would be the more peacable approach, but would mean that I'd still have to give in to week-end and weeknight visits, to show my goodfaith (as per my lawyer's advice).
b) Go sign the proceedings on Friday, have him served that day or Monday, and wait for the piano to drop on my head. My lawyer warned me that at this point, it'll be all out war with my XAH. If I know him, he'll go nuts and will be calling/emailing/texting or might even show up at my work to ream me out for taking his child away from him. A court date can be set as early as 10 days from when he is served, at which point we go before the judge.
The mediation session must still take place, but if he doesn't show or plainly declares he's not participating, I'll get a dispensation.
Additionally, if he doesn't show in court, I will be awarded sole custody by default and he won't be given ANY access. If he shows and contests, then we negociate for what kind of access he gets (my lawyer believes that it's 95% certain that I'll be given interim custody until Alia is at least 24 months).
I'm still very unsure as to what to do. I naturally want to avoid any conflict but I'm thinking that it might be inevitable and perhaps even wiser to proceed with the custody stuff right away, to prevent stress in the long run.
Ideas anyone?