Hello everyone!
I've been around these boards a couple of years, mostly lurking. I've also written some posts about how bad I want to quit and some mental health problems as well. I've tried to quit on my own and it didn't work out. Made it almost 3 months but then I drank again - to no prevail.
Well, now I'm almost 3 months sober again. I've been going to AA and it has helped immensely. Just to be with people that are like me and understand me has helped so much. I've started doing steps 1, 2 and 3 with my sponsor and I think I've "got it". The hard part is to make it a real part of you to believe in a higer power and act accordingly. And of course to admit to yourself that you're reeeally an alcoholic. I still think thougts like "I can have one more session" then get back on track. I probably could, but I really don't WANT TO! I know I'd have regrets and hate myself again. Plus I'm so much healtier in every way now that I don't drink. I don't want to waste that away for another "session". This whole denial thing and "the voice" is the hardest part of getting sober. I REALLY want to be sober and happy but there's that damn voice a lot of the time. The good thing is that I recognise it for what it is: The disease talking!
I have smoked some pot. But I don't like pot anymore, so I'm not sure why I keep smoking it :/ it's not a problem in the same way alcohol is, but I'd like to quit that too entirely.
Anyway, I just wrote to say "hi" and that I'm doing well so far. I'm not drinking, trying not to smoke pot and in general I'm feeling a lot better! Still have fears and some anxiety but it's so much less now then it used to be when drinking.
Best of luck to all of you. This board has been and continues to be a major inspiration to me!
All the best