Brent, possibly the counselor you were supposed to see wouldn't have sent you on the right path or else you were meant to meet the other one... or heck, maybe on your way going there you'll see something that you were meant to see.
Well, I had enough (again) this morning. I think I've bottomed out about what 5 times now... this semester. I reach out to people, I get rejected, and in the meantime I gain enough strength to make it a few more weeks. This is my life...
I went back to the counselor dept. Their policy is no changing counselors. The other one cost me too much, I can't look at her without wanting to hurt her (I look down a lot on that part of campus) so I walked out.
I went to my regular dr appointment, and fell apart. She took me to the counselor, and they changed their policy for me. I talked to the counselor, told her a bunch of what was going on, and she said I'm depressed. She said she can't help me with all the problems, but with the depression. So I'm sober, depressed and my life is falling apart and the best anybody has to offer is to make me happy.
Getting sober has not particularly helped... 'cause now I care, and I see I can't do anything about how far I've fallen by going to school. I hope getting happy has a better outcome, but the best I can think of is now I'll be happy about becoming a horrible person who's dependent. So I suppose if that happens, I'll end up happily on welfare or something.
Went to talk with the housing people again. They've been really busy lately, I'm told.
I don't know where to start today. I can only do one thing, and I'm gonna freely miss classes today, and just go to the teacher office hours. I can't get started... and worse, it's all so easy. All of these things I should have had done by now. Nothing is hard, I just can't bring myself to do any of it.
TB