I am with TJP...
When exah and I went to counseling I was 35 weeks pregnant, just found out he had slept with OW and sent me into early labor. He was convincing me all thru my pregnancy they were just friends but my gut said different and I got proof!
Anyway, the counselor spoke to exah and he seemed remorseful, sad, and willing to do what it took. The counselor told him he had to cut off ALL contact with OW and quit drinking and work on our relationship. Exah agreed.
Then counselor looked at me and told me I had 2 choices...tell exah its over due to the infidelity and drinking OR I could work on the relationship as well. But if I chose the relationship I had to bite my tongue from that moment forward and NEVER throw the indescretions in his face. That was tough to do but I did it.
Obviously exah was just blowing smoke because our baby was due. Didn't take him long to go back to his old ways.
Trust is very tricky. When its broken its very difficult to get back. This crisis with exah has taught me to never abuse someone elses trust in ME ever whether its a friend, my children, my family, or another intimate relationship.