Does it even matter ... I'm there.
To me it seems that I entered a life with my AH not knowing
how it can be when someone you love betrays your trust.
To me trust is a huge part of the foundation in a relationship.
I feel the choices he makes that include lying, cheating,
emotionally/verbally abusing make my reaction one of which includes
all the physical and emotional symptoms of one who has had trust
taken out from their foundation. I really feel that in my case, my AH has
caused me to experience what it is when trust is taken away and it
makes me feel so angry and hurt however, I guess my part in all of this
is allowing it, feeling I deserved it, and all the justifications I give to minimize it.
My therapist tells me I need to start trusting myself again so I guess
that is where I begin.