WOW!
Hey, what a wonderful group of precious people we have, huh?
Someone will always be here...if not immediately, then soon.
Is your counselor a DV counselor?
She can help you tailor your plans to your situation and give you personal support,
in addition to what all of here have available.
If you do not have a DV counselor, call and get one.
You should be able to get one for free.
You need someone who specializes in this.
And we will be bringing more resources to you and providing others.
We do understand the stress you are under. And the isolation.
I do want to caution to you to keep things under your hat.
He can manipulate others to get information from them and will propagandize you and a bunch of people. And no one will be able to discern the truth. He will insert enough truth to make it totally believable and lie and distort at the same time.
He is going to make all of this as difficult as he possibly can and on many fronts at the same time.
He has been messing with you the whole time and he is now.
The difference is he had a set of tactics that were working, now he is switching and mixing tactics and manuevers. The ante is going up.
tjp is right.
The first and foremost thing is to have your safety plan.
I haven't read that link but I am sure it is good information.
Have a couple people you trust and who won't/can't be coerced into giving him information a set of phone signals...like a codeword, or codewords.
One for a distress signal that he won't even know is going out.
Possibly others that fit with your plans, needs and your situation.
You know, like the Homeland Security threat level ratings? wry smile.
He is a terrorist.
I had a system of check ins.
Certain people would know that if I didn't phone by a given set day and time, that something is wrong. It was constantly changed and updated according to my needs and what I was able to do at the time.
He is abusive. He has been abusing you. He is going to abuse you more. Abuse escalates.
He IS unpredictable.
At the same time, he is your abuser and you know him best.
I need to attend to some things.
I will get back to you.
Breathe and stay rational.
You are doing great.
Would you normally ask him if he likes your haircut?
Did you act as if nothing has changed in you?
At least nothing that he perceives as threatening?
This is not a normal, healthy way to live but they are self-protective, survival behaviors that you need until you are safely freed to drop them and discard them.
You have adapted to what you need to keep your self safe as best you know how.
That is the purpose that they serve.
However you cannot stop him from abusing you with these behaviors,
he is going to be abusive because that is what he does.
you cannot change that. You cannot really control it.
you can have a safety plan for emergencies and you can plan to safely leave.
Yes, he has changed his behavior for the last few days.
That is a signal.
He is exerting control and will try to maintain complete power over you.
hugs and love,
live