partydiva my most sincere condolances on the passing of your father, mine passed when I was 19 and my mother when I was 39, I was still drinking then and stayed plowed for some time after my mother passed, the drinking did not help in the least.
You drank, okay....... did you learn anything? Did drinking help? Did it bring your dad back?
You know I have not suffered the passing of a loved one since I got sober, but I know I could get through the passing of anyone without a drink today. How can I say that?
Well I have seen other alcoholics in recovery not drink when thier child was still born, I have seen people not drink after the lose of an adult child and a spouse, this gives me strength, hope, and by thier experience the knowledge to know that a recovering alcoholic with the proper tools can stay sober through ANYTHING.
Look, it happened, let your self mourn, getting drunk or buzzed does not allow that, it prolongs the pain, it blurrs our senses, drinking leads to wallowing in guilt and self pity instead of mourning.
I have heard it said and know it to be true now, that in reality mourning the lose of some one is not really feeling sorry for them, but instead is feeling sorry for your self. Mourning is dealing with missing the one that passed and realizing that they are now at peace in all things and that they would want us to move on and live or lifes to the fullest and not wallow in misery missing them.
The pain will lessen in time, that time will be far shorter sober then drunk, alcohol is a depressant, why take a depressant when one is already depressed? It darn sure is not going to make things better.