aaaaw Truth. I had no idea this was going on.....
PTSD - for sure. It's all settling and it's like you have had the wind knocked out of you and now.............. WHAT? What's next? With you ... your rAH ... your relationship - but what it really is - is YOU!
You are AMAZING!!!! I'm proud of you for getting some plans on the books for the weekend coming up! The holidays are now also coming ... so there is something else you can throw yourself into!
You have come so far - and as an outsider looking in - I can truly say that and know it! It's just hard to see these things when we are right in it.
With all new jobs there is a learning curve... and you are about a third of the way there! Cut yourself some slack chicabeeeee!!!!
When my *x* and I went splitso - I was faced with just myself - (still am) - and it's f-ing brutal. So you are certainly not alone. Booking up my weekends was the remedy and still is.
Way to go with going to the gym! That is going to help a ton. Loving yourself - giving yourself love - getting your stresses out via exercising... writing... music - it's all so healing!
Your rAH may not need you like he used to - but he still does rely on much of your goodness, if not all of it. Now it's a healthy reliance! What's cool is now you can keep the focus on you without any interruption! You are a beautiful soul ... incredible mother, friend, daughter, aunt, sister, wife - CELEBRATE YOU!!!
I'm so glad you came here and shared - so much support from SR - ALWAYS!
Chicken Soup for the SOUL -
Fill water up in a pot - throw in about 4 FROZEN chicken breasts. Chop onion and saute' in butter while chicken is boiling. Set aside - and chop up some carrots and potatoes. Remove chicken and replace with onions, potatoes, and carrots. Add chicken bouillon, garlic powder, salt/pepper. Bring to boil while chopping up chicken. Put chicken back in pot and simmer for however long....... and THAT THERE is your chicken soup for your soul! yummmmmmmm When you serve it up- add some cheddar cheese and hot sauce to the bowl. Even more yummy!!!
Awww love - I'm listening the 'En Concert' - thinking of you! A little Jack Johnson will be good for your soul, too!
Much BIG BIG BIG love to you! Sending lots of healing vibes~!
xoxoxoxoxo