This is business as usual for my STXAH.
If my STXAH wants a response to a question I will text him back with a simple OK or a NO. And leave it at that. No explaination. No conversation. I have boundries on things I will talk about - I only talk or text about the kids now. He's gotton used to it. In the past he used to text, and text and text and ask me what I was doing, how I was doing, etc. etc. etc. Frankly, that is none of his business and I don't ask about his business either (I don't care anymore anyway). Once he was texting me from the bar (about a year ago) and was having a good joke about it as his single female "bar buddy" (the one he spent the night with a number of times and lied about it while we were together) was sitting with him reading it too. I provided a lot of entertainment that night I suppose. I texted something nasty about her (no, I didn't know she was reading the text, but so what - I'm his wife and she shouldn't have been reading it anyway - her choice to read his private message) and he came home in a rage yelling "how could you do that to me?" He wouldn't answer but kept repeating it in his drunkin speech. I couldn't understand what I had done, and then I figured it out. I embarassed him and made HIM look like a fool when I was the one who was supposed to look like the fool. Ever since that time I never trusted him when he texted or calls as he likes to play mind games on people and I never know who he is sharing his "joking" with. I'm done being the butt and fool or his jokes.
Sorry got off track. Anyhow, If he says he can't make it when he promised (did this again just now, he can't show up - again for whatever reason), I leave it at that. The kids have excepted that he will not come through with most promises anyway. Its sad really, but of course he blames the kids because now they don't bother calling him anymore and he says they think he's a monster and they don't care about HIM (who' the child here?). He said to call him anytime and he'll be there. Well, after my oldest tried five times to call and talk to him and different times my oldest gave up as he will not answer 99% of the time and will not return a voice mail until the next day.