Many years ago, when I was in a relationship that was going downhill, I was ranting and raving with my girlfriend. I was always telling my close friends what he had done to make me mad, upset, frustrated, etc.
One day my girlfriend said to me "you know, Pelican, I still like him."
WTF? Had she not heard everything I said for the past six months?
Yep, she heard every word! This was her wise explanation to me: "These are things he has done to you. He has never done any of these things to me. He has always been nice to me."
I have re-learned that lesson in the past few years with other friends. As bad as my relationship may be with someone, it does not have any effect on someone else's relationship with the same person.
Many of my friends and family are still friends with my ex. He did not abuse their trust or finances. He did not yell, cuss and throw things around them. He did not drive their cars while drunk. He did not loose control of his bodily functions in their homes, etc. These were my experiences with him. They affect my future relationship with him. period.
I try to live by that example. I try not to let other's opinions cloud my perspective.