Hi Lost,
Not everybody who is a recovering alcoholic can handle being around an active drinker. I'm supposing you as his live-in would have more of an impact on his daily life than his family, and that may be why he has a more extreme reaction to your drinking. Is he trying to control you? Obviously. He's trying to make you into someone he can continue to be around. But analyzing him won't solve your problem. If wine at dinner is a requirement in your life, maybe you guys just don't have a match made in heaven. If you want to find out if it's really the alcohol that's bugging him or somthing else, you could stop drinking for a month.
Hugs,
Smoke