low...
Day one again....
I feel really depressed, alone, insecure, anxious.
I feel especially jealous at people who don't have this addiction disease. People who can get high, drunk, @%^& around, mess up everything and still get away with it. (I know this is nonsence, but that's how I feel right now).
It feels like everybody is having a good time except me.
Most of all I feel scared. All these feeling and I just don't have a clue how to deal with them. Scared of loosing my girlfriend, scared of failing my education, scared that 'this' is all there is to life,
I'm still young and healyhy, I go to university, I have a nice girlfriend, I live in on of the most rich countrys on earth, I'm quite attractive, i'm pretty smart, I have enough stuff to do not to get bored, I just can't seem to feel positive right now..
dammit, i'm a mess,