Hi and Welcome,
I was in that awful vicious cycle for a long time too. The guilt of drinking would cause me to return to drinking to try to feel better for just a few moments. Thankfully I was able to get out of the rut and recover. And, you can do that too.
In the early days, it helped me a lot to change my daily routines, so since I would normally drink in the evenings, I started going out after supper and taking a long walk. I hope you keep reading and posting.