I'm sorry you are heartbroken over what could have been with your friend.
We understand.
We have been in relationships with partners that have given their love to alcohol first. Friends, family and career come in last place with alcoholism.
I think you both are playing with fire. You have been looking at her actions through a magnifying glass and judging her behaviors. IMHO, you need to pick up a mirror, instead, and look at your behaviors. Drinking until the point of puking is not healthy nor is it 'normal' drinking.
I have learned this about my partners alcoholism:
I did not cause it
I can not control it
I will not cure it
About my own alcoholism, I learned to take my life back. I learned that alcohol is not my friend. I want to experience the rest of my life sober.
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