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I apologize for this being so long.

I was dating my girlfriend in college that i knew from highschool for about 8 months.

She had a reputation in highschool of being loose. Getting wasted/blacking out whenever she drank at parties and ending up making out or having sex with guys. A lot of people didn't like her due to this and I never really talked to her either.

I went to college after highschool and so did one of my friends who happened to be one of her best friends. So I started going out on weekends with her and eventually we got more involved with each other. In the back of my mind though I was always worried about her cheating on me if we ever started dating, however she promised me she wouldn't. One characteristic I came to realize about her while spending time with her was that she never lied. Sober, she was just like any other typical girl, and I loved her very much and I knew she loved me also.

On weekends though once she started drinking she wouldn't stop unless the source of alcohol was gone and I didn't do anything about it even though I should have looking back on it now. It really didn't cause any problems besides her having bad hangovers. But after one weekend of her getting way too drunk and acting completely ridiculous and causing huge arguments I asked her to not get that drunk again. And she was usually good about following it and probably only got too drunk maybe twice in the span of 4 months; and I never said anything to her during those two times but I didn't because it didn't happen often as it use to and she didn't get super ridiculous.

However one night during the summer, she went to a party with an old friend from highschool. I knew she was drunk because she sent me a text saying that she was so drunk and wanted me. She also kept calling my phone but I was driving so I wasnt able to pick up. By the time I called back she was no longer picking up her phone and I called a few times so I just gave up and went to sleep around 3 am. The next morning around 11 am I'm woken up by my phone and she calls me crying asking to talk to me. The worst feeling came over me and I basically knew what happened. She drove to my house and told me she woke up in the guys bed naked and started crying. She didn't remember any of it and was bawling and apologizing. I was just so upset and left her car and told her I didn't want to talk to her and it was over. She tried desperately to get in contact with me for the next few days and I finally talked to her. The convo was long but the important parts of her explanation were: she never wanted to have sex with him, she texted her bestfriend 'help', she thinks the guy tried to get her drunk because he bought a handle of liquor just for her, she slept there which she never does because her parents expect her back every night. I also knew the guy and he definitely shady. She even told her parents about it and went to the police because she taught she might have been drugged but by then it was too late to test for it.

But I was still too upset about it and we lost contact for a month. Until school came around again and I really missed her and was having second thoughts. So I talked to her again and she told me her problem was liquor because she never blacks out/too drunk from drinking beer. We agreed that she would no longer drink liquor. But I told her I needed time till we get back together and I'll admit part of it was due to that I was embarrassed by her because I let some of my friends know what had happened and they said it was typical of someone like her and were glad I cut her off. We had 2 big fights about why I wouldn't take her back right away but eventually settled on that by the end of the year I would take her back.

Last weekend, I made a stupid mistake. My friends had bought liquor (we drank only beer since school started 2 months ago.) I told her it was ok tonight because I was in a good mood and she had also been good about not getting drunk, even on beer. Also because we were taking shots and thats something you can measure out (she always had mixed drinks). She declined and drank beer instead.

But we headed out to a friend's house which had JungleJuice (it was strong). I was drunk by then and did not say anything about her having a cup of it. I look back on it and have no clue why I didn't. I ended up throwing up so a roommate picked us up along with 3 of my friends. I could tell she was pretty drunk, but I wasnt sure. I got dropped off at home and one of my friends went back with me, however, she stayed with my 2 friends and went to another party. She came back after an hour with my friends and we just went to sleep.

My friend tells me the next day he saw her talking to some guy and they were both close to each other. Then I asked her later if she had anything to tell me about last night and she said that she had made out with some guy. Her reasoning for not telling me was because he initiated it which made me even more mad for having such a stupid excuse (I knew it was actually she didnt want to lose me). She told me she didnt even remember dropping me off and she blacked out part of the night and wasn't sure if they had kissed and had to ask one of my friends. Then she told me she remembered talking to him about me and saying that I wouldnt be her boyfriend; then the guy said he wont be your boyfriend? and then went for a kiss. She explained that was something she would never do sober.

I let her go and didn't buy her excuse of alcoholism. The thing is she doesnt drink often, it's just when she does she keeps going. She told me her dad and brother were/are alcoholics, and that I shouldnt give up on her. I found out late in our relationship she originally wanted to be a virgin but a boyfriend had taken it one night when she was really drunk, and she never really got over it. I had given her a 2nd chance already and felt so betrayed. I told her I thought she was a ***** when she's drunk and that it was over. We havent talked since then.