hello and welcome to sr.there is alot of support to be found here.i wouldnt call my alcoholism beautiful but because of it i now live a beautiful life which i may never have got had i not gone to the absolute pits of h£ll and gone to AA.i live the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and it has given me a life that i never imagined possible.like tazman said,,,,,are you willing to go to any lengths? if so give AA a try,you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.you already have a faith in something bigger than you so why not go and utilise that.welcome again.