Kjell, Yeah, it's going to be hard. Part of the reason is that you're having to deal with issues without your crutch - the bottle. Now you have to deal with life on life's terms and in the beginning that is not an easy task. If you're picking up a 30 days chip then it looks like you're in AA (and congratulations on the 30 days, by the way). The program of AA will teach you not only physical sobriety (not drinking) but also emotional sobriety. And it's the emotional sobriety that is the key to recovery as that's how we learn to deal with life on life's terms.
In the section "How It Works" in the Big Book, it says that some of thought we could find an easier, softer way. AA is the easier, softer way. But it's certainly not easy nor is it soft. It's a simple program but a difficult one. Your anger is common in early recovery as you begin to see the mess you made. But you're not alone here. We've all been through that. As you work through the steps you'll find it easier to deal with the past, and learning from our previous mistakes is a big part of recovery. So don't worry too much about the emotional upheaval you're going through right now. It'll pass. The important thing right now is to find a sponsor, even if it's a temporary sponsor, to advise and guide you. And don't be jealous of anyone else; you don't really know what they're going through. Just focus on your own recovery. It's an uphill climb for sure, but you'll find that there's a lot of help available for you to make it to the top.