Pelican - when i do look in the mirrow i look and see much bigger things that i can imagine. I haven't really been able to actually look in a mirror in a long time. Your reply made my cry and I'm sitting here at work lolololol I can't stop the water works. I really don't care if anyone sees me.
I am very open with my children now. They know how I feel and I know how they feel. I let them know how I am feeling at any given moment so they now that what they are feeling at any given moment is fine.
It does make me angry that I gave him my life for 20 years and I'm the one in misery. It's definately not fair. I just have to remember that I'm going to get healthy and be the mom i need to be, not the one worried about their dad all the time and being quiet and not being myself.
boy, this is the most diffictuly thing i've ever done in my life and it hurts me knowing he is saying tons of bad things about me. I guess I have to grow a backbone!
