The sadness could be part of your grieving process. Grieving the loss of a relationship is just as real as grieving the loss of a loved one because of death. Your relationship has suffered a death, so to speak.
Your sadness could be a sign of codependency to his addiction. He is addicted to alcohol, and you are addicted to his drama. You were always there when the addiction was progressing, there when it was climaxing and there when it was trying to be extinguished. Now you are removing yourself from the front row of his dramatic life of addiction. What to do with yourself?
Now you begin the process of putting down the magnifying glass that amplified everything HE did and pick up the mirror and begin to look at yourself. It's not a pleasant process to begin with. It's feels like you have picked up one of those magnifying mirrors and all your issues are larger than life! It gets better as you begin to love yourself, respect yourself, and take care of yourself. You become a better person to yourself, then a better parent to your children. It's a journey worth taking!
Alanon will help you learn to respect yourself and take care of yourself. My children have not been to alateen yet. They have been to an open Alanon meeting with me. They also are involved in discussions with me about what I am learning in my meetings and in my daily readings.
Keep us posted about your meeting tonight.