Do I never feel that happy again?
That probably wasn't happiness. That was
out-of-control-drunkenness. Having fun and being happy are two completely different things IMO.
You can have fun doing anything really. It's all about attitude and what you make of every situation you find or place yourself in. Happiness is elusive. I don't think there is anyone who is always happy. To me, happiness is a feeling. And feelings change from moment to moment. They have to because
everything changes from moment to moment. It's hard to keep up. But it's easier to keep up when you are sober.
Do I learn how to have fun without drinking?
I think that depends on who you are
behind all that drunkenness. After I sobered up, I realized that my
person, who I am
inside--not who I
thought I was--does not even like loud, obnoxious, smelly drunken people and places. And here I had spent three to four nights a week for the last 10 years of my life in these places with these kinds of people.
We may have thought we were having fun at the time, but looking back on it, I realized that we were a bunch of very
unhappy people, numbing the unhappiness, and substituting peace and serenity with debauchery and danger.
I have come to accept myself as a person who is mostly the opposite of who I was when I was drunk. I'm not going to lie to you and say, "Yeah! Everything is great now and I have fun every day!" It's not like that for me and I think that's probably why I drank in the first place; to loosen up. I don't know how to have fun. I do not do well in crowds. So my life can feel boring and routine at times and I rely on other people to show me how to have fun.
But I do know how to live a
quiet, peaceful, serene life and how to maintain that. And I'll take THAT over drunkenness ANY day!
I think it's worth giving up the highs to prevent the lows... but I'm so worried that if I quit drinking for awhile, I will forget how bad the lows are and start to crave the happiness again. What do ya'll do to overcome this?
Keep a journal where you write down how bad the lows are (your specific reasons for wanting to get and stay sober) so that you can look back to it when you start to question why you are doing this in the first place.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.