Oh dear. First off Pinpoint it's just I think you're tired and if you go to work 7 days a week you don't have rest or time for yourself, it's just all work and no play.
Why wait a year to make a change. I think you can make things change now. You can go back to school ... evening classes, online classes there is a way....... and there are grants, and funds to help with this goal.
Secondly, I don't see this as a pity poor me rant. I am not always feeling just fantastic and or at times even hopeful and to me SR is a place you should be able to talk about your problems without feeling guilty or have you feelings invalidated. Remember the posters on this site are not counselors or professionals, just people sharing their ESH. What works for them may or may not be what you need.
Maybe an outpatient IOP would give you some structure.
It's okay to need to talk about feelings and I have said it before if recovery and SR only wants people when they are strong and feel great then recovery is doomed. You have to start somewhere. Sometimes when I voice my problems I get clarity and understanding about what things I need to do. Sometimes a psychiatrist may tell me something I knew but I needed to hear it from someone else. Use those tools and keep writing here and your blog too. Don't give up on yourself, I just think you need a change of a job, some long term goals and some hope, mainly just some hope that things will be better in the future. Many hugs to you.