Hey dudes and dudettes!! Just finished my week of work now and can lie in tomorrow!! My flu/cold is feeling a little better now and i am over the worst thankfully.
I attended an AA meeting last night and I knew literally everyone there from previous meetings I had been to, though i had not been to that particular meeting before. It is funny because everyone was asking me where i had been as i hadn't seen them for about 12 weeks and I soon put them straight that I was still sober (14 weeks!!). Some seemed pleased and some not. The shares were very intense and i felt quite uneasy at times but I think it will help in the long run.
I like to use AA sparingly as i feel that's what works for me; I "take what i want and leave the rest", it is very cliquey but I find it helps me keep grounded and feel like I am playing my part to remain sober.
sobriety cannot be a bed of roses all the time and everyone has up's and down's but I am still grateful to be sober. I cannot go back to where i was before and I do not wish to.
I just need to work on my self-image/confidence insecurities that I have and also laziness to my personality and things will get better with time. "One day at a time"... It is soooo easy to forget where we have come from and feel a sense of nostalgia about old perceived lifestyles etc that were really just addictions corrupting our minds in many ways.
It really isn;t about the drinking with me but the lifestyle that went with it/ ease of not feeling vulnerable/shy/isolated.
Music is my passion and I have played in bands since I was 12 and thats what i am great at (guitar) but I am wary at the moment as the lifestyle is so closely related to drinking/drugs/partying etc.
"ONE DAY AT A TIME" I am gratefull to be sober and thats the main thing.