PLEASE READ THIS: I had another thought just now while in the bathroom that I need to confess to you guys about... Maybe I am looking for reasons to be able to claim "this isnt working and I want out" Rather then focusing on the good thinigs about our relationship, and building on those, I am wondering if I have sort of made up my mind that I want out and am now trying to justify it? This really scares me...its such a weak way to go about things, and most impotantly I am really unsure of myself...that things at home can feel uncomfortable making me want to get out...is that a cop out? Do I do that in every relationship? Or is there real incompatability and unhappiness? Have I decided inmy mind that I just dont want to be with this type of person who is capable of the things hes done.
Gee, I wish I knew the answer to that. It scares me. Leaves me feeling like a bad person and a selfish person. Do I love him enough to want to stay and work on things or am I only spending my energy struggling with really wanting to get out but am insecure about doing it. And am I destined to do this in every relationship I get into when things dont feel good? What I really dont know yet is - not perfectly clear about is - DO i have justifiable reasons for not likign my marriage? Are there real deal breakers that have already happened? Or is it that I am not really very good in relationships in general and am just... well i hope you get the idea.
does this make any sense?