Wow. I really appreciate the thoughtful responses... I am creating a master list... of my desires by pooling these great concepts mentioned - they are all so good! ...not expectations, for that can get us in trouble, but of things I would like and most importantly deserve.
The challenge for me is in communication of these types of things to my spouse. Will formulate my ideas and then broach the subject in the next therapy session. If I put it in the terms of: "I want to feel... loved unconditionally, supported in my endeavors, trust that other person, feel free to share my thoughts and feelings...then it should not come across as criticism.
This will be a first for me to migrate toward sharing what I need, rather than burying it over with concerns about him and whther or not he's happy in his life or getting what he wants from me. Thinking about it in these terms gives me a sense of empowerment...not control...but valid standards that a human of equal value and importance can seek to find.
Then once communicated I must simply turn the attention toward myself and my journey and seek fulfillment - with God by my side. ...and time will tell...