LBW, I think you reached what we in AA call a "bottom". This is a situation whereby we've reached the absolute end of a meaningful life. Bottoms can be good or bad. The good feature of reaching bottom is the realization that "oops, I've got a real problem here". And when we reach bottom we're usually motivated enough to start doing something about what put us there. We realize that all our self help phisosophies won't get us sober. We need help from others and, in AA parlance, from our higher power.
The bad aspect of reaching bottom is the fact that we often grab a shovel and continue digging. I hold out very hope for such unfortunates.
With your family history you never had much of a chance, so please don't beat yourself up over it. You have a disease called alcoholism and it's not your fault. What you do, however, is your fault. I would strongly recommend that you try AA for a while. The number in the Phone Book is manned 24/7, and they can direct you to the nearest meeting. Swallow your pride and ask for help as it's obvious that what you're doing right now isn't working very well.