sfgirl

I wish what Astro said was true, but unfortunately I think people pass judgment on other's recovery a bit too often. The other thing is some people think a "tough love" or confrontational approach works at getting and keeping people sober, probably because it worked on them. For me, I was a broken person and had a lot of shame and so much self-hatred that I I was already my own worst enemy, adding that sort of stuff from other people was not going to work. I needed to be propped up not beaten down.

So all that being said, I think that you just need to get into a program of recovery. If you go to a couple of AA meetings and find that that works for you then you should probably do that or maybe get into private therapy or counseling. The benefit of the pregnancy is that it is an added incentive to stay dry. But since it is an outside thing (in a way), like "I'm going to stay sober for my pregnancy" kind of like "I'm going to get sober for my husband or job," it isn't really going to stick. The real work is emotional and needs to go on inside of you. While other things can motivate it, ultimately it is about you and for you.

People talk about being a dry drunk. Some people are opposed to that term. It basically means not drinking while not working any recovery and therefore not going through any other change. I have had a few periods of sobriety and one of mine was definitely a "dry drunk." If you compare that period to now, where I work hard at my recovery and have restructured my life inside and out, it is like two different worlds. My "dry drunk" was when I gave myself a few months to not drink. I knew it was just a little break— not permanent. This is similar to your pregnancy. There is something else about going into it with a permanency. You have to mourn alcohol, mourn your old self, and move on. It is cathartic and worth it. I am sure you can do it—you already have half the battle down and that is the sober one. If you get a solid recovery in place you will be able to heal old wounds and this new one and set yourself up so you will not relapse again.

Sometimes doctors can not be sensitive to addicts or alcohol problems. Don't let someone shame you unnecessarily. If you want to see a doctor whose specialty is addiction medicine you can look around these resources:

ASAM - American Society of Addiction Medicine
American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Or for counselors (although a psychotherapist or social worker maybe a better option just make sure they know about addiction issues, unfortunately it is not a mandated thing in school...)

NAADAC