I've been thinking about this a lot, as I consider reasons why my marriage is over for me and whether or not I should *ever* consider letting J move back home.
Aside from the obvious things - mutual attraction/chemistry, financially & mentally stable, self-confident and positive - there are things I would like for any potential partner to bring to a relationship that are important:
1) have their own friends and like to do things with them - not be dependent on me for their social relationships
2) have a sense of humor, be able to laugh at himself and others in a kind way
3) respect my boundaries and appreciate my quirks
4) be forgiving
5) do what you say you will do, be there when you say you will be there, communicate quickly and clearly when there is a problem
6) be honest about things, both positive and negative, but when communicating about something that is a difficulty, use gentleness and respect
7) no yelling or other emotionally abusive behaviors - hitting things, stomping around.
8) be willing to admit when you are wrong and be ready to forgive me when I am wrong
I know I'd rather be with someone who is happy more than they are sad, who is materially responsible, who shares my politics and who likes a rural lifestyle. I just don't know if that person exists AND IF THEY DID....why would they ever want to be with ME? I'm a mess!
