I have no idea. I'm much the same way. I really have no idea what I want. I have a hard time even articulating what is wrong. My soon to be ex is very frustrated by it, understandably, especially when his list was/is very simple. "Tell me what you want and sex all the time. " End of his list.
I know I need counseling of my own. I need to find a therapist. Do you see one on your own?
I'll be watching this thread - thanks for posting it.
ETA: I think one thing might be that some of the things I want are feelings. Trust, security, feeling loved and protected. How does a person create those feelings in me? I don't know - all the small things that happen over the years. I'm not sure they can be created by the same person that stomped on them for years, or maybe I just won't let them? Maybe I wouldn't let anyone? They are feelings I give away to people and right now, I don't particularly want to.