"Attracted and revulsed at the same time." YES! Such a weird feeling.
Yesterday I had some difficult stuff to deal with with my daughter and I woke up today with this weird impulse to call him and tell him all about it. Just habit, I suppose. Luckily, I logged on to Facebook and right there on my home page was a post by a mutual friend, showing photos of my XABF partying last night with a bunch of his favorite enablers, our waitresses! They're very young and have no clue... So right from attraction to revulsion in about 60 seconds. lol.
But anyway, it helped get my head on a little straighter.
Thanks as usual to everyone for your great insights. You're all very generous.