Free,
You deserve better than this. You will have something better than this.
One of the horrible parts of being involved with an alcoholic (using the label as shorthand, don't care about the diagnosis) is the dreaded ambivalence we feel. Attracted and revulsed at the same time. Very confusing. No matter what, this is a loss and takes time to mourn.
As for the "friend", there's no reason to value his opinion more than your own. Being in AA doesn't make him an expert on anything or anyone.
I'm sorry for your pain.