Originally Posted by
queenie88 
...he projected such a fantastic image to everyone but over time i was privy to the deterioration, and once he realized that i wasn't going to be the doormat he needed me to be, wow, complete 180%. he had gone from saying "you are my wings" to "i need you to be different."
I can relate completely. I went from being the 'bright shiny beacon of hope' & him saying he's the 'luckiest man alive' to a complete 180 in one day - the day after our 2nd 'talk' about how I don't want him drinking in my home & how I don't trust his 'enabler' friends as they don't have his best interests in mind. And him trying to convince me they do.
In one day all of the sentiments were gone, and after 3 days of his continual pulling back & treating me like garbage, he wouldn't even talk to me anymore - not even to end the relationship 'civilly'. It still amazes me how they all react in the same manner to this disease.
Originally Posted by
queenie88 from time to time i'd get a nagging feeling, something tugging away at my conscience that would say "is this really what you want?" but i always rationalized it away, thinking "well i love him, and sometimes in relationships you have to make sacrifices, nobody's perfect."
I think we all fall into the trap when we love someone. Myself included. In relationships you make 'compromises' - not sacrifices. You should never have to sacrifice yourself - your partner should love you & accept you for who you are. Just a shame the A's don't realize that we do love them but cannot accept their drinking in our lives, therefore we cannot accept them in their present state. And they can't accept us because we cannot accept their drinking. It really is a dance.
Have to take it day by day. My mood is different every day, and when I'm feeling down and weak with my emotions, I re-read the posts to remind me I don't have to be weak.