Originally Posted by
verity29 
The thing is, folks, am I going to spend the rest of my life feeling like this?...I am frightened to socialize where there is drink. There is such a drinking culture in Ireland that you are almost treated like a pariah if you do not imbibe alcohol at social functions.
No you won't always feel this way. It probably feels like you will. I always feel like every feeling I have will last forever but none of them ever do. However, I pretty much was the same as you. I avoided parties and social events like the plague in the beginning. I would get angry over wine and stuff like you did at dinner. But all that has passed. I go to weddings. I go to bars very rarely if I have to and I barely think about the drinking thing (I mean I do but not in a me vs. them type way like why do they get to do it and why do I not). Now, I feel lucky not to and grateful. I used to be really social too before I quit drinking. Then first six months of sobriety I was a hermit and scared of people. Now I am sort of back to my normal, which is who I really am, not who I am drunk, who is a social person but not overly social like I used to be. I mean now I can do parties, I don't mind, but if it is a party where everyone is boozing or if it gets to the hour at the wedding where everyone is wasted and looking to hookup I am going to bed with the "grown-ups". But I don't mind sitting at the table with the wasted people during dinner, it can be sort of fun. This is a long winded response to it does change. I actually think those feelings at the table is really good because it is sort of like a mourning of alcohol— I really had to do it. Why not get angry that you can't have it anymore? Get it out. Feel it. One day, for me it was probably around month 7 or 8 or even 9 acceptance set in and then it was a lot better. Also if you don't have to go to the party don't go. Do you know how many times I have been "sick" this year? Ha.
Good luck. Oh, and I didn't do AA but I am in one-on-one therapy.....