Thanks you all. I really felt I was coming apart last night. I even got undressed for bed and then got dressed again vowing to go out. I didn't though because deep down I knew I would have to face reality again in the morning and I am not so long sober that I can't remember what that was like after a binge.
I feel a little better having read your posts. I was in such a state that my husband called an AA member to call to the house. Feel embarrassed at this but know it will help in the end. I used to be an outgoing, sociable person (or maybe I just imagined I was). I just can't seem to manage it sober.