Hi AGO,
I understand where you're coming from. Our situation was a little different, although doesn't take away my responsibility. My AB and I actually started the nightclub together. The goal was to provide a great venue for music, as we're both musicians and we saw the need in our area. To be quite honest, in the excitement of building the business, I didn't look at the alcohol factor. We felt like we were doing something worthwhile. We spent a lot of time at the club and it was a great creative project. A year later I was left with the fact that the lifestyle is what it is and most people involved in the service industry drink more than they should and take drugs too. By the time I understood better, I could see that his habits were not the same as mine... So yeah, I hear you. I should have been more realistic. I wasn't a big nag though. I am pretty accepting of people's ****, but I was increasingly uncomfortable and trying to negotiate some balance. That didn't happen.
I just got back from my first Al Anon meeting. Hoping to learn better and to find some relief from the pain that I feel.