I guess for younger people its more diff to discern... "not a drinker" was not among my MUSTs for a partner, I do not think Free had set in her mind she did not want a drinker and went for one anyway to try to make him not to drink.
For many ones, things appear to be social drinking and smooth... until we share 24x7 and know reality. There is faking, there is manipulation, there is the attraction so you are hooked. I do not think that is judging or demeaning alcoholics, its just describing common traits about active ones.
But I agree you can see someone's lifestyle and make some conclusions about their priorities in life. And its not good or bad if they are different, they are just different.
Anyway... with the help of a counselor I realized its not about drink or no drink but about BEHAVIOR...