Originally Posted by Free108

Hi Everyone.

He is apparently now really enjoying his life and things are much better for him, I hear through the grapevine.
One thing to remember is not believe what you hear through the grapevine.... the number one priority is taking care of yourself during this time. Possibly telling the others to not mention him around you is one boundary you can set up so that you are able to start the process of healing.


The fact that he's HAPPY and functional hurts like hell, especially in comparison with the state that I'm in.
He might be happy for the moment because he's living it up.... but he is not functional. If he was functional, he wouldn't have to drink the amount he is to deal with life. People who use substances to drown out life's crap, are not functional.

I feel such betrayal. I even feel jealous when I read some of the posts on here about people dating alcoholics who are sorry for what they've done and at least making promises to their loved ones, even if they are not capable of living up to them.
Someone in active addiction will make promises until they turn blue in the face... just because they are able to express regret doesn't mean they are capable of actually feeling the regret and making moves to repair the damage they have done. If our loved ones aren't capable of following through on their promises..... this is what we detach from.... the constant emotional roller coaster an addict/alcoholic will put you through. We have all heard the promises of a new day.... some of us have seen a new day..... some of us have walked away from the illusion of a new day.... and some of us have made our own new days without them.

I know that sounds terrible, but I'm just sitting here with my head spinning, looking up Al-Anon meetings and paying for therapy, feeling completely abandoned by the man I was building my life with.
Thanks for any wisdom you might be able to share.