Yes, selfish is a good word. I feel like I've been left with this huge burden of grief to deal with and I know that I need to do some work or I wouldn't have got into this situation, but I'm mad that I'm the one falling apart and he's just motoring on, oblivious. I feel like a little kid having a tantrum screaming "it's not fair!". And I also feel completely stuck, sitting on my couch, doing the bare minimum, in a horrible funk, knowing that I need to get moving and get my life together but so in shock at what has happened. Ugh.