Thread: Trying to cope
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:03 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Learn2Live
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Thanks for the reply Caitsmith. I'm glad you're feeling a little better. I love these little smilies, they make me smile; guess that's why they call them "smilies." Thanks to you also, now I know how to use color! Watch out, there's a rainbow coming your way!

I just ignore my birthdays anymore. I just spend them like any other day. I don't even bother taking off work for it either. That way I get to avoid hurt feelings and disaster. The last boyfriend (who is NOT addicted or alcoholic in ANY way) went on vacation with a relative the whole week of my birthday the last year we were "together". That did it for me. Why should I spend the NEXT 42 years wishing my birthdays were happy unlike those of the LAST 42 years? When we let go of the wants and desires, we allow ourselves to be grateful for what we have and experience.

Here is something for you to practice this weekend. That man you are married to is going to do what he wants to do no matter how it makes you feel and no matter what you say or do, right? Well, one way to get some sanity and peace in your life is to stop reacting to him in the ways you are both accustomed to and feeding off of.

If he says something mean to you, and you feel hurt, BREATHE deep and WAIT. Focus on your breath moving slowly in and out of your lungs. Then, tell yourself, "I am not going to cry." Then, turn around and walk away. It is hard to walk away and stay away but the more you practice this, the easier it gets. Find something to do after you have walked away: scrub the tub, wash the car, organize your fingernail polish, go to the park, anything to keep you away from that man.

Every time you get angry, you are allowing his disease to control you.

Oh, and by the way, if you live in London, I'm coming over for a visit! Just kidding!
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