So how about doing something different to shake up your life and liven up your recovery, if what you're currently doing isn't working. Like ashlee suggested, maybe try a meeting or something?
38 days is great, but recovery is a long process. I mean, I drank for 27 years, surely I wasn't going to recover from that much wreckage in a month or two!
4 1/2 years ago I felt hopeless, bored, my life was done, done, done. But I committed myself to doing this deal cuz the alternative was death.
When I leave my office in 15 minutes I'll go to an AA meeting, then I'll head for my new home, catch up with my fiancee, I know it's going to be a great evening. I have that faith every day that life is still unfolding exactly as it should be.
It works if ya work it, but ya gotta work it! Forever is a long time, so try to handle this in small chunks, one day at a time, or one second at a time if it makes it any easier. It will get better, I promise, but not if you pick up again.