Hey RedTail...
So sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. For years I spent my Christmases with my parents, then my son's father, then after we separated with my daughter's father, so I never really did have any period that I was spending Christmas alone until...
My boyfriend and I had a brief period last year that every holiday we would break up... for some stupid reason we would always manage to be separated by the day of or a few days prior to the holiday. Wanna know my honest opinion on Holidays alone after horrible holiday experiences? The first one was hard... facing the fact that, you were 100% alone, and there was no one there (just so happened that my son's father decided that year to have him on holidays which he normally DOES NOT DO) is relaxing.
You're not trying to impress anyone, you don't need to anymore. You don't have to babysit, you don't have to be careful on what you do or say. It's comforting to know that while others are sitting there bickering with their spouses over how much they spent on a Turkey, or Christmas, or anything like that, you have no one to bicker with but yourself. So... I decided for Thanksgiving, I didn't care if I was cooking a turkey, salads, stuffing, pickles...etc for myself, all I cared was that I was getting it. For Christmas, I did the same except it was a much much bigger Turkey and I invited my single friends over, those that were going through the same thing and had to spend Christmas alone. New Years well... that was another story. Not only did I have a GREAT time being single - I went out to the bars with the girls and danced until my feet bled, literally. I was sober as a judge, and the only kisses I got were from my really drunken girly friends but.. I had a lot of fun!
Just because your spouse isn't there, doesn't mean that you have to be alone. Know anyone that really doesn't have too much family around? Or maybe they just broke up with their spouse and need a comforting? Or... maybe it's even an elderly couple who can't cook for themselves, or something along those lines. Honestly.. it helps you, and it helps them. I may sound crazy, but in our community everyone is closely knit so, it's not out of the ordinary that the neighbors are having issues so we help out. Mothers day, I made sure to spend it with my mom, even if no one was appreciating that I also was a mother, I knew I was special anyways for being there for my own.
I hope some of this may have helped you, it sure did when I was forced to spend each holiday alone.
Thanks!