On the edge of my seat
Hey all!
I'm in a place that I've never been before with this process. I recently got hit with a wave of guilt/blame/shame/threats from AM, and responded really calmly and honestly. ie "That hasn't been my experience. I'm sorry you feel that way, I can't talk about this now." And then responded to the frantic email a few hours later in the same way. This second part is where I usually get hooked, after I hold my boundaries and her reactions escalate. Anyway, I didn't this time, and was prepared for more to come at me, all set to get out of the way and let her crisis roll right by. But that's not what happened--she hasn't responded in any way, hasn't emailed or called (wierd for her). I'm feeling totally on edge, double-checking my door lock, listening to strange sounds and having a hard time sleeping, sure that she's up to something awful to punish me and half-thinking she's dead.
I know that she's not dead (someone would have noticed) and know that there's not that much she can do to really hurt me that I can't either protect myself or detach from. But I feel trapped in this state of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Any advice on how to chill the heck out?