I bet the son is feeling pretty confused.
My heart goes out to him.
Many times in my youth when I dared to ask a question or tried to get information outside the family about what the hell was wrong with us I was met with lies and BS and watering down of traumatic issues, and denial and it can't be that bad etc. My dad also never lost a job or got a DUI (although he was brought home by the police who pulled him over plenty of times).
When I dared to say out loud to my mother "Dad's an alcoholic" she slapped me right across the face! End of discussion.
I hope your stepson can continue to find a rational person who agrees they are seeing the same things that he is and that YES there is something wrong with this picture!
This is the kind of sh*t that pisses me off to no end about alcoholism -- the shame and secrecy and lying. Like now you will have to share information with him "in secret."
I'm curious to read other's thoughts on that...
peace & good luck imtheidiot and you're NOT an idiot!
b